So they all think I am really, really smart or something at work. I keep telling them that I make it all up. Really! And they laugh, as if I am being humble. Who, me? Humble?! I think not! I really DO make it up!
For example, last night I brought some work home. I am working on workloads, caseloads, and resetting targets for workers. It is a little complicated - lots of considerations and all. Like, which classification of worker makes more than the other, what is the percentage of work that is expected of each classification, types of cases, and so on and so on. I tried to morph the old methodology into our new business model. And discovered after some research, that we have no old methodology. Only an antiquated system of weighting work based on the number of dinasours around on a given day. So, I made it up. Seriously. Since there was nothing else to try to use as a baseline, I made it all up.
Of course I disclosed it. I'm not unethical. Just creative.
The only one who really gets it at work (who believes me, that is) is my boss. I can hear her response already, " Stef - here are the stats that I worked on." "Oh okay. Thanks Roxane". "Oh, and by the way, I made it all up." "Oh okay. Thanks Roxane". {and at this point she smiles and I know that she believes me and has heard what I said}.
I have a big meeting this morning. It is with the director of the agency. I'm supposed to give a report on implementation of the new computer system. And, of course, I have nothing to say. Really - right now, the only thing that is going on is that people are working hard, getting on each other's nerves, stepping on each other's toes, and losing their tempers. You know, a normal day dealing with government. So what do I say in my report? I can't say what is really going on in those terms. So, I will make it all up. Something like, "we continue to put the final pieces of the implementation plan together, (we are working hard). There have been several incongruencies identified and are scheduled to be addressed, (people are getting on each others nerves and rubbing each other the wrong way- but must figure a way to continue to work together). We have also identified overlapping boundaries (people stepping on each other's toes), as well as areas of concern (losing tempers). However, the weather looks sunny today - with a chance of clouds and rain in the higher elevations. Blah, blah, blah...
See - it is all made up stuff. A string of nonsensical words. Words that say something but mean so much that they wind up meaning nothing.
I need to figure out a way to phrase this skill on my resume. Something like, "Ability to use up time in a meeting without actually saying anything or committing to anything". Or, "Construction Contractor: the skill of creating a facade of substance out of popsicile sticks, used gum, and string".
Goodness knows, once people figure out what I really, really do in my job, I'm gonna need that resume!
For example, last night I brought some work home. I am working on workloads, caseloads, and resetting targets for workers. It is a little complicated - lots of considerations and all. Like, which classification of worker makes more than the other, what is the percentage of work that is expected of each classification, types of cases, and so on and so on. I tried to morph the old methodology into our new business model. And discovered after some research, that we have no old methodology. Only an antiquated system of weighting work based on the number of dinasours around on a given day. So, I made it up. Seriously. Since there was nothing else to try to use as a baseline, I made it all up.
Of course I disclosed it. I'm not unethical. Just creative.
The only one who really gets it at work (who believes me, that is) is my boss. I can hear her response already, " Stef - here are the stats that I worked on." "Oh okay. Thanks Roxane". "Oh, and by the way, I made it all up." "Oh okay. Thanks Roxane". {and at this point she smiles and I know that she believes me and has heard what I said}.
I have a big meeting this morning. It is with the director of the agency. I'm supposed to give a report on implementation of the new computer system. And, of course, I have nothing to say. Really - right now, the only thing that is going on is that people are working hard, getting on each other's nerves, stepping on each other's toes, and losing their tempers. You know, a normal day dealing with government. So what do I say in my report? I can't say what is really going on in those terms. So, I will make it all up. Something like, "we continue to put the final pieces of the implementation plan together, (we are working hard). There have been several incongruencies identified and are scheduled to be addressed, (people are getting on each others nerves and rubbing each other the wrong way- but must figure a way to continue to work together). We have also identified overlapping boundaries (people stepping on each other's toes), as well as areas of concern (losing tempers). However, the weather looks sunny today - with a chance of clouds and rain in the higher elevations. Blah, blah, blah...
See - it is all made up stuff. A string of nonsensical words. Words that say something but mean so much that they wind up meaning nothing.
I need to figure out a way to phrase this skill on my resume. Something like, "Ability to use up time in a meeting without actually saying anything or committing to anything". Or, "Construction Contractor: the skill of creating a facade of substance out of popsicile sticks, used gum, and string".
Goodness knows, once people figure out what I really, really do in my job, I'm gonna need that resume!
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